Phone Pranks
Freaky Phantom Phones
Nab a friend's answering machine and record a new message on the order of, "This is the FBI. All calls being made to this phone number are being traced and logged." Set the machine to answer on the first ring, and hide the answering machine where it is not easily found (you can usually plug an extension phone into the machine). If your friend doesn’t have an answering machine, it’s even funnier. Bring your own pre-recorded machine and install it when they aren’t looking.
Is Max There?
Phone somebody, and when they answer ask for Max. Repeat this four or five times (using different people each time heightens the effect). Finally ring and when the person answers say, “Hi, this is Max have there been any calls for me?"
Bogus Recall Notice
When a friend purchases a new car and is bragging it up a bit too much, call their phone and leave this message, "This is Mr. Frank, the customer service representative from _______ [dealer name]. There's been a recall on your [car model], it is very dangerous to drive your car in its current condition. Please return your car to the dealer as soon as possible. And, if at all possible try not to make any left turns when returning the car to our service department – no appointment will be necessary, just come in between 9am to 5pm. We’re sorry about this inconvenience. I assure you that the problem will be corrected at no cost to you."
The book also features favorite pranks to play on telemarketers (from our now out-of-print "How to Get Rid of a Telemarketer"):
Veggiebabble
Based on the theory that you don’t have to actually be psychotic to act crazy, this routine causes most telemarketers to question their career choice. When a telemarketer begins a pitch, arbitrarily begin inserting the names of vegetables as they try to speak. After the first or second “rutabaga” or “broccoli” they should respond by saying, “What?” Reply by naming another vegetable (“okra” and “Brussels sprouts” work particularly well). The salesperson will begin laughing uncomfortably and hang up. You win.
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