Things A Department Store Santa Doesn't Want To Hear From Kids
10. "Remember me? I'm the kid with the weak bladder"
9. "You smell like supermarket gin"
8. "The real miracle on 34th Street would be if they accepted my
mom's MasterCard"
7. "I want a 2004 Pontiac Aztec"
6. "Oh, by the way, if I don't get an X-Box, I'm gonna hunt you
down, old man"
5. "I'm Jewish"
4. "I love you Kenny Rogers"
3. "Frankly I'm just here to humor my parents"
2. "While I'm talking to you, my mom is shoplifting blouses"
1. "Mom says you're my real daddy"
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