Funny John McCain Quotes
On Bill Clinton: "Where's Bill, by the way? Can't he take one night off from his tireless quest to make the man who defeated his wife the next president? When a reporter asked him if Senator Obama was qualified to be president, Bill Clinton pointed out, sure, he's over 35 years of age and a U.S. citizen. He was pandering to the strict constructionist crowd." --at the Al Smith Dinner
"The good news is that we now have enough money to run the entire campaign in Colorado. The bad news is, some of that money is still in your wallets and purses." --speaking at a fundraiser in Aspen, Colorado
"In case you missed it, a few days ago Senator Clinton tried to spend $1 million on the Woodstock Concert Museum. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I wasn't there. I'm sure it was a cultural and pharmaceutical event. I was tied up at the time." --on the years he spent as a P.O.W. in Vietnam
"Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people. Hollywood is a Washington for the simpleminded."
"We spent $3 million to study the DNA of bears in Montana. I don't know if that was a paternity issue or a criminal issue." --on wasteful congressional spending
"I spent several years in a North Vietnamese prison camp, in the dark, fed with scraps. Do you think I want to do that all over again as vice president of the United States?"
"You know the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a scum-sucking bottom-dweller. The other is a fish."
"Remember the words of Chairman Mao: 'It's always darkest before it's totally black.'"
"Presidential ambition is a disease that can only be cured by embalming fluid."
"I'm older than dirt, I've got more scars than Frankenstein, but I've learned a few things along the way."
"Never get into a wrestling match with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it." --to reporters in New Hampshire after being asked him about Mitt Romney
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