Monster Doctor
Did you hear about the vain monster who was going bald?
The doctor couldn't do a hair transplant for him, so he shrunk his head to flit his hair.
Doctor, doctor, I think I'm turning into n frog.
Oh, you're just playing too much croquet.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a python.
Oh you can't get round me like that, you know.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm an adder.
Oh good, could you help me with my tax return?
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a toad.
Go on, hop it!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a snail.
Don't worry, we'll soon have you out of your shell.
Doctor, doctor, I feel like an insignificant worm.
Next!
'Doctor, doctor, I keep feeling like the invisible monster.'
'Who said that?'
What did the doctor say to the Invisible Monster's wife?
'I can't see anything wrong with your husband.'
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a snake about to shed its skin.
Just slip into something more comfortable.
Monster: Doctor, doctor, I'm a bloodsucking monster and I keep needing to eat doctors.
Doctor: Oh, what a shame. I'm a dentist.
Monster: Doctor, I have this irrepressible urge to paint myself all over in gold.
Doctor: Don't worry, it's just a gilt complex.
Doctor, I've just been bitten on the leg by a werewolf. Did you put anything on it?
No, he seemed to like it as it was.
Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great, gooey, bug-eyed monsters playing tiddledywinks under my bed. What shall I do?
Hide the tiddledywinks.
Monster: Doctor, doctor, I've got a split personality.
Doctor: Sit down, both of you.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm the Abominable Snowman.
Keep cool.
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