Slighty-Used Wife For Sale
The following ad appeared in the Automobiles For Sale classified in the local newspaper:
For Sale or Trade: Slightly Used Wife
Needs muffler, as it is currently VERY LOUD. Intake valve is stuck in the open position.
Rear end needs major overhaul. A crack there has grown monstrously large.
Needs re-wiring—Many wires are currently crossed.
Lots of little dings in the body, which have been covered up with too much paint in a failed effort at camouflaging them.
Needs re-upholstering—Carpet has turned a dingy gray.
Needs front-end work--Headlights are too close to the ground, and fenders are too far apart.
May not pass emissions test, as it currently produces foul clouds of malodorous gases on a regular basis,
Heater works great. Hot air is never in short supply..
Asking $500 or trade for 1984 model.
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