HALLOWEEN VAMPIRE JOKES


"Mommy, Mommy! Am I really a Vampire?"

"Hurry up and drink your soup before it clots!"

 Where do vampires make they're withdrawals?
At the blood bank.

 

    How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
    By blood vessels.

    What are a vampire's favorite snacks?
    Adam's apples and nectarines.

    What did the Mommy Vampire say to the Baby Vampire?
    "You are driving me batty."

    What do you get if you cross a vampire bat and a mummy?
    A flying band-aid, or a gift-wrapped bat.

    What do you give a vampire with a cold?
    Coffin Drops!

    What is Dracula's favorite holiday?
    Fangsgiving!

    What kind of dog does Dracula have?
    A Bloodhound!

    Where did they put Dracula when he was arrested?
    In a red bloodcell!

    Where does Dracula keep his valuables?
    In a blood bank.

    What do you get if you cross Jesse James and Dracula?
    A robbery at the blood bank.

    Why did the other kids have to let the vampire play baseball?
    It was his bat.

    What is as sharp as a vampires fang?
    His other fang.

    Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?
    They would only let him be BAT boy!

    Why didn't Dracula get married?
    He never met a nice Ghoul!

    What does a vampire fear most?
    Tooth decay

    What is Transylvania?
    Dracula's terror-tory

    Where does Dracula water ski?
    On Lake Erie

    What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
    Count Duckula

    What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?
    A blood vessel

    Where did the vampire open his savings account?
    At a blood bank

    Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
    Because of his coffin



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